Loving...

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s hate? How about their jealousy? How about when it seems, as best you can tell, to be completely unprovoked, or the result of their own dislike towards you? Have you ever found yourself doing this very thing? It surprises me how many people have experienced this very thing or found themselves being the perpetrator. I’ve done it. I’ve received it as well.

When I find myself in the midst of hating someone, I have to make myself step back and examine my heart. Because, honestly, what could be so important, or such a big deal that I would risk my relationship with Jesus just to be able to hold onto it (1 John 3:15; 1 John 4:20)? Nothing, as far as I’m concerned. And no one. I have to make that my priority, even when my feelings and emotions try to get in the way.

And, well, if you’ve never been on the receiving end, it stinks. Terribly. It isn’t fair. It hurts, no matter how often you tell yourself that you won’t let it get to you. It hurts. It leaves wounds that have to heal. It will make you angry. It will leave you questioning what is wrong with you. And, if you’re the type of person that just, in general, wants people to like you… well, it can (if you let it) just eat away at who you think you are.

My question for those of you on the receiving end: what is your response? Because here is the thing, it doesn’t matter what they do or don’t do. If I am a Christian, my reaction is to be the same. Love. The Bible commands it. “But I tell you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, to show that you are the children of your Father Who is in heaven…” (Matthew 5:44-45a). That leaves little room for doubt about how Jesus is directing us to live. John 13:34-35 shows another aspect of why the Christian should love, regardless – “I give you a new commandment: that you should love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too should love one another. By this shall all [men] know that you are My disciples, if you love one another [if you keep on showing love among yourselves].”

I’m not saying that it is an easy thing to do. Actually, I can assure you that it is quite difficult. However, when I consider the things for which I have been forgiven, how in the world can I not work to forgive and love as I have been? “And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). I don’t deserve the salvation I’ve received. I’ve certainly done nothing to earn it. Christ freely died for me, paid the ultimate price, the highest price, for me, even while I was in the midst of the deepest, darkest sin. When I hated Him, He loved me and gave Himself for me (Romans 5:8). Who am I to not show love and forgiveness to others? If I don’t, no matter what the other person did or who they are or how much I hurt or any of that, I become the man forgiven the great debt in the parable Jesus told (Matthew 18:21-35).

The last post that I wrote was about how the things we do in our everyday lives matter. And they do. This type of situation is a part of that as well. If I accept the love of God for me, and invite it into my life and make a commitment to live for that, then it is my duty, my responsibility, and should be my desire to show that love to others. Even those, dare I say especially those, that hate, refuse to forgive, or treat us badly. Because, the truth is, as Christians, we are not victims. We are completely responsible for the way we react or respond, the thoughts we think, the words we say (or don’t say), and our actions. No one can make me angry. I choose to respond with anger. No one can make me bitter. I make a choice to respond with bitterness.

“Examine and test and evaluate your own selves to see whether you are holding to your faith and showing the proper fruits of it. Test and prove yourselves [[a]not Christ]. Do you not yourselves realize and know [thoroughly by an ever-increasing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you—unless you are [counterfeits] disapproved on trial and rejected?” (2 Corinthians 13:5).

So, on a final note, how about instead of blaming others for our own anger, hatred, bitterness, laziness, or whatever (I have a bunch of them), let’s follow the teaching of 2 Corinthians and examine ourselves. Let us, Lord, let me, take responsibility for my own behavior and actions and thoughts and feelings. They are MY responsibility. No one else’s. I pray the Lord would give me grace and strength to be completely honest with myself and, truly, examine myself (Psalm 139:23-24).

** Please note – I listen to a lot of teaching and read a good bit. Because of that, I don’t want to leave anyone with the impression that any of this is an original thought of my own. Any and all of the comments above may have been borrowed from and have certainly been influenced by any or all of the following people: Chas Haynes, Ned Crosby, Paul Steyne, Paul Washer, Francis Chan, Christine Caine, and Ravi Zacharias. **