Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Time...

In a conversation the other day, it dawned on me that in approximately 3 months and 15 days, I will be recognizing the FIVE year anniversary of my daddys death. That is unbelievable. I cannot believe it has been that long ago. It seems like just yesterday but like forever at the same time. *sigh* Time sure is a funny thing!
          But, at the same time, I got to thinking about how much has changed in the last five years and it is incredible. I never realized just how much can happen in five years. It really isnt that long!
          Since my dad has been gone, I have made some friends that are as close as mothers and sisters and brothers and fathers to me, and yet, during that same amount of time, Ive watched the disintegration of some very dear friendships. Ive become active in a church that has about 50 regular members, most of whom I know and treasure. I was coming from a church at the time that was very large and steadily growing into a few thousand member church. I had been attending there for almost 8 years. Leaving there, I thought, was one of the hardest moves Id ever made and now, it is just a memory!
          Drew started kindergarten J and I finished college (well, my bachelors degree, anyway) and started on a Masters degree three different times! This time Im in for the long haul though! Drews moved on into the THIRD grade, and I can hardly believe how much hes grown. Ive changed jobs THREE times in five years – from owning and managing a daycare center, to teaching middle school, to being a receptionist at an audiologists office! And there is so much that happened in the midst of those changes that I couldnt even begin to type it all out – some absolutely heart-wrenching and others complete blessings from God!
          Drew and I endured a custody battle (a rather nasty one at that) and another family court hearing over a different matter altogether. Drew got a severe kidney infection, and in the process of that we learned that he only has one fully functioning kidney. It is hard to believe that was almost three years ago!
          All of these things have caused changes in our lives, some more noticeable than others but when Im not paying attention, things seems so much the same.  But, when I slow down and really look wow. My baby is almost as tall as me and can read and write and do math better than I can. J What is the saying ? The only thing that never changes is that everything changes.
          But I am happy to be able to say that, looking over the past five years, its been good. It hasnt been easy. No, most of it, at the time, I thought would kill me. That surely I would never make it through to the end. But I did, and you know what. You will too. Because that is the promise of our Lord. That is the hope that we have in Him! And, as I look back over these five years I can see His precious hand moving and working in my life and in Drews life.

All of that to say, January 2, 2009, I thought at the time, was the day my life would never be the same., the day that I would never get over, never get past, and that would hang over me like a rain cloud forevermore. And, the truth is, it still isnt easy. I miss my daddy more now than I ever have. But I was right about one thing. My life will never be as it was before then, but the truth is, it is okay. If it were easy, it probably wouldnt matter. Isnt that usually how those things work? January 2, 2009 wasnt the end of my life. It just changed my life forever.

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