In a conversation the other day,
it dawned on me that in approximately 3 months and 15 days, I will be
recognizing the FIVE year anniversary of my daddy’s death.
That is unbelievable. I cannot believe it has been that long ago. It seems like
just yesterday… but like forever at the same time. *sigh* Time
sure is a funny thing!
But, at the
same time, I got to thinking about how much has changed in the last five years
and it is incredible. I never realized just how much can happen in five years.
It really isn’t that long!
Since my dad
has been gone, I have made some friends that are as close as mothers and
sisters and brothers and fathers to me, and yet, during that same amount of
time, I’ve watched the disintegration of some very dear
friendships. I’ve become active in a church that has about 50
regular members, most of whom I know and treasure. I was coming from a church
at the time that was very large and steadily growing into a few thousand member
church. I had been attending there for almost 8 years. Leaving there, I
thought, was one of the hardest moves I’d ever
made… and now, it is just a memory!
Drew started
kindergarten J and I finished college
(well, my bachelor’s degree, anyway) and started on
a Master’s degree… three
different times! This time I’m in for the long haul
though! Drew’s moved on into the THIRD grade, and I can hardly
believe how much he’s grown. I’ve
changed jobs THREE times in five years – from owning and managing a daycare
center, to teaching middle school, to being a receptionist at an audiologist’s office!
And there is so much that happened in the midst of those changes that I couldn’t even
begin to type it all out – some absolutely heart-wrenching and others complete
blessings from God!
Drew and I
endured a custody battle (a rather nasty one at that) and another family court
hearing over a different matter altogether. Drew got a severe kidney infection,
and in the process of that we learned that he only has one fully functioning
kidney. It is hard to believe that was almost three years ago!
All of these
things have caused changes in our lives, some more noticeable than others but
when I’m not paying attention, things seems so much the
same. But, when I slow down and really
look… wow. My baby is almost as tall as me and can read
and write… and do math better than I can. J What is the saying… ? “The only
thing that never changes is that everything changes.”
But I am happy
to be able to say that, looking over the past five years, it’s been
good. It hasn’t been easy. No, most of it, at the time, I
thought would kill me. That surely I would never make it through to the end.
But I did, and you know what. You will too. Because that is the promise of our
Lord. That is the hope that we have in Him! And, as I look back over these five
years I can see His precious hand moving and working in my life and in Drew’s life.
All of that to say, January 2,
2009, I thought at the time, was the day my life would never be the same., the
day that I would never get over, never get past, and that would hang over me
like a rain cloud forevermore. And, the truth is, it still isn’t easy. I
miss my daddy more now than I ever have. But I was right about one thing. My
life will never be as it was before then, but the truth is, it is okay. If it
were easy, it probably wouldn’t matter. Isn’t that
usually how those things work? January 2, 2009 wasn’t the end
of my life. It just changed my life forever.