I am... Mom.

The other day, I was browsing through Pinterest and found this picture…

And it was one of those days where being a mom wasn't very fun at all. There was attitude coming straight from Drew and I was just fed up and tired. But he is such a good kid. I really can’t complain at all. And, I so often worry that I am absolutely screwing things up every day. 

I realized while looking at some of the “mom” stuff I was finding just how easy the “comparison bug” can snowball, especially with us moms.  I thought it was bad before I became a mom… but wow. How quickly things changed. There are so many amazing moms in my life – from my own mom and grandmother, to the friends that I watch raising their children, sometimes from a distance, to the moms that have already raised their children – and I have to constantly watch to be sure I don’t fall into the “I’ll never be good enough” pit. It really has a way of sneaking up sometimes. 

I mess up so much sometimes.  And this…

Scares me often. Because I am not what I want Drew to be. I want him to be so much more.  But, then I was reminded of this…

And it is what I need to focus on daily. Moment by moment. And I can be confident that my Lord will give me the strength and the knowledge and wisdom needed to help raise this wonderful little boy that He has blessed me with!

Thanks for reading.

Life As A Balancing Act?

When I began writing this blog, it was with the intention of it being this unbiased, generic life-coaching blog. Well, I’ve given up on that and decided to just write. So, it will probably be biased and opinionated. I’ll surely get it wrong and will most likely offend some people. But, here goes anyway…

I was asked a while back to write about how balancing life as a mom, and a wife, and a Christian, and a friend, and all these different roles that we, especially as women, play in our daily lives. This question came from a dear friend that has children much older than my own, a marriage that has lasted longer than any relationship I’ve ever been in, a stronger walk with God than I could begin to imagine. A woman I truly respect and look up to. A woman I admire very much. And yet, here I sat at the table in Panera with her and her children and some friends and she poses this question to me, that really, who among us hasn’t struggled with? It was immensely humbling as I sat and began to realize that I had absolutely no idea how to answer her question, much less what to write an entire blog post about! The best I could come up with was an illustration I heard years back about filling a jar with golf balls, pebbles, sand and coffee. It won’t all fit if you don’t fill the jar in the correct order, and our lives are very much the same way when it comes to priorities.

But after thinking over this for… a few months now, I began looking into what God’s Word has to say about the issue. And, the best I could come up with is this. If we put Him first in our lives, He will fit the rest into place. Matthew 6:33 – “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”   But what are “these things” you ask? Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore, I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?” And Jesus goes on in the following verses to describe how the birds of the air and the lilies of the field are cared for (verses 26-30).

Now, do I believe that removes our responsibilities? No. Not by any means. We are responsible to our families and we are responsible for our health and so on. However, if we allow any of those things to come before our devotion to Him, we are filling our jar in the wrong order.

Here is a link to the jar illustration if you’ve never seen it. I can’t take credit for that, but it is a great example that has really stuck with me through the years. http://www.pagetutor.com/jokebreak/263.html

Follow Him and let Him guide your steps. He will not only guide you but will strengthen you for the journey.

Saying “No”… It Really is Okay!

     I have always been one that struggled with telling people “No” – whether or not it was that I could not do something for them, or help them, or even if I just did not want to go wherever – I struggled mightily with it.  Even when there was a legitimate reason (i.e. more than just a desire to not do whatever).

            Part of the reason that this is so difficult is because I bought into the lie – saying “No” makes me less of or a bad Christian, friend, mom, daughter, church member… whatever you put in the blank.  And, oftentimes, it seemed those were the words I would hear from those I said “No” to, which just confirmed what I was already thinking.

“A good friend would loan me the money that I need…”

Or

“How can you call yourself a Christian when you won’t commit to leading this group?”

Or any other infinite number of examples.  A lady was telling me just the other day that she had to start telling her extended family that she would be unable to drive them places after 10:00pm because she was falling asleep at the wheel on the way home or on the way to work early the next morning!

My point is that somewhere along the way, taking care of yourself and your family, being healthy, became selfish, especially in some “Christian” circles.  And then we guilt ourselves (or allow others to do so) into running ourselves ragged doing things that we shouldn’t! Not to mention the anger and resentment that can build when we begin giving out of our guilt.        

So, we should be kind and giving and care for one another.  We should love others and help whenever we can.  But, I also think that we should be doing these things out of an attitude of compassion and care, not guilt and resentment. Get enough rest. Spend time with your kids. Have a bit of fun. And, in the midst of that, give, care, and help.