Saying “No”… It Really is Okay!

     I have always been one that struggled with telling people “No” – whether or not it was that I could not do something for them, or help them, or even if I just did not want to go wherever – I struggled mightily with it.  Even when there was a legitimate reason (i.e. more than just a desire to not do whatever).

            Part of the reason that this is so difficult is because I bought into the lie – saying “No” makes me less of or a bad Christian, friend, mom, daughter, church member… whatever you put in the blank.  And, oftentimes, it seemed those were the words I would hear from those I said “No” to, which just confirmed what I was already thinking.

“A good friend would loan me the money that I need…”

Or

“How can you call yourself a Christian when you won’t commit to leading this group?”

Or any other infinite number of examples.  A lady was telling me just the other day that she had to start telling her extended family that she would be unable to drive them places after 10:00pm because she was falling asleep at the wheel on the way home or on the way to work early the next morning!

My point is that somewhere along the way, taking care of yourself and your family, being healthy, became selfish, especially in some “Christian” circles.  And then we guilt ourselves (or allow others to do so) into running ourselves ragged doing things that we shouldn’t! Not to mention the anger and resentment that can build when we begin giving out of our guilt.        

So, we should be kind and giving and care for one another.  We should love others and help whenever we can.  But, I also think that we should be doing these things out of an attitude of compassion and care, not guilt and resentment. Get enough rest. Spend time with your kids. Have a bit of fun. And, in the midst of that, give, care, and help.